In 1985, the Chicago Bears were a star NFL team enjoying a lot of media coverage. They graced the screens of countless home televisions and sports bar tubes when they took to the field, they gave interviews to sports pages and magazines, and they even had a minor hit on the pop charts with "The Super Bowl Shuffle". Long thought a campy relic of the 80's, The Shuffle was actually part of a complex system of energy focusing techniques necessary for creating a wormhole through time. An international team of physicists attempted to fabricate the maneuvers with machinery, only to discover that the grace and nuance required for the requisite subatomic tremors to occur were exclusive to the gridiron perfection of the 1985 Bears starting line. The first successful tear in the fabric of space-time opened up a brief portal to the year 2011 where and when the Bears were and are tasked with gleaning as much information about the future as possible to help improve life in their home time and hopefully avert certain disasters. Here is what they've learned while spending time with 2011 President Barack Obama.

Invest More In Maintaining Infrastructure

Rushing and receiving leader Walter Payton was a big fan of the hot music and hotter food of New Orleans back in 1985. That's why it broke his heart to hear about the devastation wrought by Hurricane Katrina. His rage bubbled to near a breaking point when he learned that it was the failed levee and not just the fury of nature that brought such havoc down on The Big Easy. Payton intends to push for greater government oversight and long-term funding for infrastructure both on the national and local levels once he returns to his own time.

Overhaul the Tax Code and Make It Stick

Mike Ditka didn't win Coach of the Year by being short-sighted. The man was a master planner with an uncanny eye for strategy. This explains why his visit to 2011 consisted mostly of dissecting the current federal tax code. He recognized the potential for a blitz on the middle class resulting from a severe miscalculation of the effectiveness of trickle down economics and the way unchecked property taxation and deregulation leaves first-time American home owners holding the ball on the wrong end of the field. Ditka was keen to march into President Reagan's office with 2011's employment figures and lay down some justice.

Reconsider the Direction of Foreign Policy

Star QB Jim McMahon threw a few missiles in his day, but that doesn't mean he's pro-war. During his visit to 2011, McMahon was shocked and appalled to witness the carnage of the ongoing conflicts in the Middle East, both by American hands and in the unrest of the multiple revolutions in the region. After a night of intense research, he came up with a 10-point plan to correct the course of U.S./Arab relations in 1985 and nip the infancy of modern terrorism in the bud lest the horrors of the global climate come to pass in his own time-stream. Learning that the Cold War was not long for this world in 1985 helped McMahon in his studies and led him to conclude that the first step in the process must be American support for a free and democratic Afghanistan and a policy that rejects the insertion of ostensibly pro-Western leaders in autocratic positions throughout the region.

Following the Bears' research and analysis of these times, they arranged themselves on the White House lawn to once again perform The Shuffle. With President Obama's help, they opened up a new portal and returned to their own time with vital information. It may not save this iteration of reality, but at least a new causal chain has been enacted in the alternate 1985 and stupid, unnecessary problems can be avoided for people of that reality.