This BP oil spill thing just won't go away. I mean, what more can I do? I'm not the president of BP, I'm the president of America. It's not like I can just give an executive order to the oil to stop leaking into the water. I can't order the secret service to escort the oil back into the ground. Hell, even if I could deploy the army to execute a police action against the oil for its assault on American waters, my troops are spread too thin overseas for it to be effective. My degree is in law, not physics or chemistry. There's nothing I can do about the spill.

That said, I have ordered a freeze on all offshore drilling for the next six months. Who knows, maybe I'll be so sick of getting flack for this fiasco that I'll just make it illegal for good. I can't remember how many times some stupid problem has made me consider doing something like that, making some big, hard-ass law that just bans something outright or makes it totally legal. Sure, Congress would probably bicker about it for ages, no matter what it is, but at least I'd look like a guy who wants to get things done. No one could accuse me of being indecisive or wishy-washy.

Ah, but I'm not sure if I'd ever want to do something like that.

The thing that's really gotten to me lately is that the news companies have been running out of "experts" to consult about the oil thing. CNN has started interviewing Bill Nye, that guy from that kid's show from the 90's, like he's the voice of America's rational, critical thinkers. Don't get me wrong, Bill Nye's awesome and really smart, but he's not the guy to go to for every complicated science question that comes across the news cycle.

But that's the way it goes these days. TV feeds on TV. Nye's on CNN because Nye used to be on Disney. He's the closest thing to a scientist the entertainment world has to offer, so they're willing to feature him on the weight of public opinion alone. Just watch, pretty soon they'll start consulting Martin Sheen on presidential matters just because a lot of people used to watch The West Wing. Which brings up another thing that pisses me off: Not once since I was elected have any of my advisors, aids or cabinet members rattled off political jargon while we walk purposefully through the halls of the White House. Sure, I'm not naive enough to believe that stuff actually happens on a regular basis, it's just one of those fantasies that would be so easy to fulfill and it never happens. Maybe that should be the unofficial subtitle of the American presidency.