Tuesday, October 14th
7:01PM

Dear Diary,

Have had brilliant revelation on how to increase fundraising. Brainstormed popular reasons to give money away and came up with list:

1) Breast cancer
2) All other cancers
3) HIV/AIDS
4) Sick children
5) Africa

Ruled out causes #2-5 as have not had cancer like John, majority of HIV sufferers part of supportive voting bloc, Michelle refuses to pretend that Sasha has leukemia, and do not wish to call attention to own African roots. Focused on cause #1: breast cancer. Looked at ways to emulate breast cancer fundraising and came across effective Susan G. Komen for the Cure Dove chocolate marketing campaign.

I will have Dove sell Obama-themed chocolates with inspirational messages of hope and change on their foil wrappers!

Will change wrappers from pink to blue, fill with messages like “A vote for Obama is a vote for change!”, “A vote for McCain is a vote for more of the same!”, “Average male life span is 73 years.”, “Are you better off than you were four days ago?”, “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”, and “Barack doesn’t shoot wolves from planes.”

Plan is fool-proof.

Too busy making up inspirational sayings to have time to check polls, but assume still in lead.

Hopefully yours,
Barack