February 2009

  • Stimulus is Stuck

    By beatriz on 2/8/09 10:33am
    1 Comment

    Sunday, February 8th
    3:00pm

    Dear Diary,

    I am so fed up with these Republicans, I can hardly stand it. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to compromise. But they won’t stop until they’ve completely torn this stimulus bill apart. And for what, more tax cuts? 42% of the bill is already tax cuts! How much more do they want? Economists all agree that we need to spend money in order even begin to fix this economy, and yet, Republicans still won’t have any of it! And John McCain of all people has been speaking out against it, contradicting himself, of course. First he doesn’t think tax cuts are going to do anything, then he’s asking for more tax cuts. Honestly, I think the man is senile. Thank god I beat him so resoundingly. And why is he being such a thorn in my side anyway? Didn’t he say as part of his concession speech that’s going to get behind me and support because that’s what the country wants?

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  • Apologies Appreciated

    By beatriz on 2/5/09 10:30am
    1 Comment

    Thursday, February 5th
    9:10am

    Dear Diary,

    I must admit, I was surprised to watch the news late last night and find out that the press really enjoyed all my apologies. I’m glad they got my message. After all, I know how much Bush was criticized for never admitting to a mistake. Heck, I criticized him for that too. So I’m going out of my way to admit mistakes when I need to, even if they’re not entirely my fault, as was the case with Tom Daschle. Of course, I can’t make too many mistakes, since people won’t appreciate my apologies quite as much… Still, people recognize this already recognize this as a major difference between my presidency and Bush’s presidency, and I’m glad to know they’re picking up on my cues of distinction.

    But while I have the media in the palm of my hand, the Republicans are an entirely different story. I just cannot seem to win them over when it comes to the stimulus. And I’m running out of time too, since the Senate is voting at the end of the week – most likely tomorrow.

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  • Tom Daschle and Other Dilemmas

    By beatriz on 2/4/09 10:27am
    1 Comment

    Wednesday, February 4th
    11:45pm

    Dear Diary,

    Whew, it has been quite a week. With two people declining to take on position in my cabinet, I’ll admit I’m getting a bit frustrated. After all, I’m PRESIDENT Barack Obama. People should be thrilled to work for me. As for Tom Daschle, which was the biggest heartbreak of all, I guess I should have looked into his profile more extensively, since he did work as a lobbyist for insurance companies and he had those tax problems. But really, can’t my aides do anything? It’s their job to do the vetting! I have much more important things to worry about. Still, he would have been perfect for the job. We really need somebody in there who can talk to both Republicans and Democrats, and he would have been the best one to sell my health plan. It’s going to be hard to find somebody as qualified as he is. The last time a healthcare bill went through Congress with support from both parties was in 1965 with the Medicare bill.

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