January 2009

  • Interview on Al Arabiya

    By beatriz on 1/27/09 10:24am
    1 Comment

    Tuesday, January 27th
    9:25pm

    Dear Diary,

    Today I reached out to the Arab world through an interview on Al Arabiya, in trying to carry out the plans made in my Inauguration speech to reach out with an extended hand. I really wanted to show that portion of the world that American cares about Muslims and Muslim lives. Since George Bush did absolutely nothing to reach out to this area of the world, I’m demonstrating my willingness to engage in diplomacy within the first week after my inauguration. I just to emphasize my willingness to talk, and more importantly, listen, since I’m sure that hasn’t been happening at all over the past eight years.

    I've since learned that this interview was very well received through the Arab world, and especially in Pakistan, which is important if we want to achieve diplomacy from their country, and support from their people.

    In other news, the House will vote on my stimulus package tomorrow.

    Read more >

  • Saving Our Country, Multiple Issues at a Time

    By beatriz on 1/26/09 10:21am
    1 Comment

    Monday, January 26th
    9:05pm

    Dear Diary,

    Whew, what a day. I have been putting out Bush fires (haha, good one, Barack) all over the place. It seems that I’m going to have to completely undo the last eight years of damage caused by the Bush Administration, or at least as much as possible.

    Read more >

  • I DID Win (Sans Gloating)

    By beatriz on 1/23/09 10:18am
    1 Comment

    Friday, January 23rd
    5:25pm

    Dear Diary,

    I’m feeling so frustrated with those Republicans, I can hardly believe it. I’m trying to be a good guy about all this – keep everybody happy. And to be quite honest, Republicans should be happy that I’ve included them on so many talks. Unlike George W. Bush, I really am trying to be a uniter, not a divider. But they’re making it really difficult when my economic stimulus package is already smaller than I’d like, and they’re still trying to shrink it down. But I’m trying to be conservative in my spending, which you’d think they’d appreciate.

    Read more >

  • Taking the Oath...Again

    By beatriz on 1/22/09 10:15am
    1 Comment

    Thursday, January 22nd
    7:00am

    Dear Diary,

    Decided to take the oath of office again yesterday after John Roberts messed it up. I had heard some rumors that conservative bloggers and muckrakers had said that the goof meant I wasn’t really President of the United States. Of course, that continues to prove how inept and unintelligent they are. Any person with a modicum of intelligence knows that it's written in the constitution that I assume the presidency at noon on Tuesday, January 20th, regardless of the circumstances. Not that I actually think I could count on those guys to read the constitution, but I suppose it looks better to get Roberts to dictate the oath correctly.

    Still, as if I don’t have enough to worry about now that I’ve become president, since Bush left me with an entire country to fix. Thanks, George…

    Yours,
    Barack

  • Long Inauguration Day

    By beatriz on 1/21/09 10:13am
    1 Comment

    Wednesday, January 21st
    3:30am

    Dear Diary,

    Just got home last night after a very long day. I can’t believe I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours, but at least everything went pretty well. It’s safe to say that everyone loved me. I’ve got this country eating out of my hand. And fortunately, I’m nothing like George Bush, so I don’t have to worry about screwing it up all the time. Of course, I can’t count on everyone else to be quite as perfect.

    I can’t believe that Chief Justice John Roberts screwed up the presidential oath like that. I have to wonder if he did it on purpose …. He would want to make me look bad, being a Bush sympathizer and all… And people actually thought it was me who messed up? Come on… with all my schooling in constitutional law? I would be the last person to mess that one up. And I gave him a chance to fix it by pausing and letting him restate the oath. But he still got the “faithfully” part wrong. Unbelievable.

    AND he put “So help me god” at the end.

    Read more >

  • Inauguration Day!

    By beatriz on 1/20/09 10:09am
    1 Comment

    Tuesday, January 20th
    6:30am

    Dear Diary,

    Well, since I’ve been awake since 4am this morning, I suppose it’s time to finally get a move on for my big day. It’s been quite an amazing journey to this point. I do wish that my grandmother were still alive to see this day. I know how proud she would have been, even to have witnessed my election back in November. But I know she’s looking down on me from up above. Well, I’m getting pretty sentimental, but today is a celebration…for me!

    I’ll make a statement sometime today or tonight about my first order of business (probably something simple, possibly to do with Guantanamo), but save most of the tough conundrums for tomorrow. After all, with ten balls to attend, a parade that will last for a quite a while, and more speeches than I’d care to count right now, I’ll need a small break from business.

    Ugh, there’s so much more to fix than when I initially started campaigning. About a week after the election, all I could think was, “Put me in the White House already!” After all, Bush was just a figure on the sidelines on that point, completely inept to do anything.

    Read more >

  • Preparations for First Day

    By beatriz on 1/19/09 10:06am
    1 Comment

    Monday, January 19th
    8:10am

    Dear Diary,

    Today is Martin Luther King Day and tomorrow I am inaugurated. I couldn’t have planned this on better myself. But I suppose that it’s a stroke of fate that the first black president will be inaugurated the day after we celebrate Dr. King’s birthday.

    As my presidency is (finally) about to begin, I have decided to resume writing in my diary so that I can have a place to really get my thoughts out. It’s so hard with so many advisors and staff around all the time, so having my own personal diary is a great release.

    Tomorrow I am going to be inaugurated. Feels great! And I’m so glad to finally get in the White House. Bush has dragged our country so far down, I definitely have my work cut out for me. So much has changed since since I initially started campaigning. I can’t believe how much more I have to fix, in addition to all the problems Bush caused before 2007. But hey, if anyone’s going to do it, it’s gotta be me. I saw in the New York Times that even in McCain country, they’re starting to realize that I’m the right man for the job.

    Read more >