October 2008

List of My Important Endorsements and Voting Bloc Most Likely to be Influenced by Them

By beatriz on 10/23/08 8:38am
1 Comment

Thursday, October 23rd
10:18PM

Dear Diary,

Came to realization today that if voters still undecided at this point in election cycle, there is good chance that they are completely unconscious. Will likely be difficult to sway voters if they cannot see handsome face, hear sweet words, or feel inspired by message of hope and change. Have decided instead to utilize innate human characteristic: The Herd Mentality. New campaign slogan: Everyone’s Doing It!

List of Important Endorsements and Voting Bloc Most Likely to be Influenced by Them

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Really? Nader? Again?

By beatriz on 10/21/08 8:32am
1 Comment

Tuesday, October 21st

10:39PM

Dear Diary,

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Joe the Prophet?

By beatriz on 10/20/08 8:29am
1 Comment

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A new type of socialism

By beatriz on 10/19/08 8:25am
1 Comment

Sunday, October 19th

11:23PM

Dear Diary,

Campaign worried over accusations of socialism. At first was unconcerned as Americans notoriously uneducated and likely to believe ‘socialism’ a reference to the celebrity party scene—and everyone loves people who are social!—but soon realized ‘socialism’ is on Wikipedia and therefore can be read by millions of quasi-educated citizens.

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Top Five Things That Are Wrong with Me, According to Michelle

By beatriz on 10/17/08 8:21am
1 Comment

Friday, October 17th
10:27AM

Dear Diary,

After breakfast this morning, Michelle handed me list of faults. Said sheâd written it at Jon Stewart's suggestion, but wanted to wait until after last debate so as ânot to crush your fragile ego.â Ha. As if she doesnât know that messiahâs ego cannot be crushed.

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Top 10 Possible Replacements for “Joe the Plumber”

By beatriz on 10/15/08 8:14am
1 Comment

Wednesday, October 15th

11:30PM

Dear Diary,

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Barack H. Obama for the Win

By beatriz on 10/14/08 8:11am
1 Comment

Tuesday, October 14th
7:01PM

Dear Diary,

Have had brilliant revelation on how to increase fundraising. Brainstormed popular reasons to give money away and came up with list:

1) Breast cancer
2) All other cancers
3) HIV/AIDS
4) Sick children
5) Africa

Ruled out causes #2-5 as have not had cancer like John, majority of HIV sufferers part of supportive voting bloc, Michelle refuses to pretend that Sasha has leukemia, and do not wish to call attention to own African roots. Focused on cause #1: breast cancer. Looked at ways to emulate breast cancer fundraising and came across effective Susan G.

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New speech with message of change will render crowd speechless

By beatriz on 10/12/08 8:08am
1 Comment

Monday, October 13th

1:22AM

Dear Diary,

Up late writing next inspirational speech. Reminded by speech writers that must be avoid being too inspirational and inadvertently inspiring mob violence. Have heard Secret Service not too happy about mob violence these days.

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I will not use biological sex differences as a way to dismiss the opinions and viewpoints of female politicians and lawyers.

By beatriz on 10/10/08 8:03am
1 Comment

Friday, October 10th

12:33PM

Dear Diary,

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Swiftboating clearly just a relic of the past.

By beatriz on 10/9/08 7:59am
1 Comment

Thursday, October 9th

6:23PM

Dear Diary,

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I have a dream.

By beatriz on 10/8/08 7:55am
1 Comment

Wednesday, October 8th

9:08AM

Dear Diary,

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Debate, handshake, polls: Am winner!

By beatriz on 10/7/08 7:52am
1 Comment

Tuesday, October 7th
9:54PM

Dear Diary,

Won debate! Am winner! Am popular! Hope! Change!

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Secretly Recording Hopes and Dreams: Change During an Economic Disaster

By beatriz on 10/6/08 7:34am
1 Comment

Monday, October 6th

9:19PM

Dear Diary,

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